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Name: Krisjon aka "Janong" Metro: Manila Gender: Male
Interests: Doing my calculation and drawing plans. To able to understand the meaning of love. Expertise: For 5 years experience under nuclear engineering division. I provided the satisfactory of client's needs. Preparation of drawing plans, calculations and drawing updates. Occupation: Engineering Industry: Engineering
Message: message me Website: visit my website Yahoo: Krisjonsison
Member Since:
2/10/2003
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| Hahhahaah!!its been awhile people. I wonder who still views or read this entry. I dont care anymore, ive been busy and watching movies whenever I have a chance. Soooo... nothing new just finding a new love. Heart Broken again.... *sigh* anyways I will bring you the good movies Ive watch recently. Top 5 Movie Of This Week Movie: HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX FACTS (how gay) My Rating: 6.0/10 Critics Rating: 9/10 Type: Freaky movie
HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX FACTSIn his fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is now 15 years old and preparing for the Ordinary Wizarding Levels examinations after a long summer away from school. He's also recruited by a secret organization to prepare for the eventual return of the epitome of evil, Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes). Although the group busies itself behind the scenes, no other Wizard believes Harry and Dumbledore's (Michael Gambon) dire warnings, forcing a new Witch (Imelda Staunton) to assume control of the magical school. REVIEWWho's in It: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Imelda Staunton, Ralph Fiennes, Gary Oldman, Maggie Smith The Basics: Everything's gone all haywire and upset in the world of Witches and Warlocks and Wizards. The kids are cranky, the adults are tyrants (petulant or just plain useless), and, worst of all, Voldemort really, really, really wants to kill Harry off for good. Why? Well that's part of the mystery … What's the Deal? Now, this is a Harry Potter movie I can really get behind. There's not an ounce of happiness or Quidditch blah-blah-blah or wacky Muggle antics. I've been waiting for things to turn dark and murderous for a while now, and I've finally gotten my wish. And best of all? It's not so full of its own sense of importance that it takes three hours to give you everything. The Casting People Can Finally Breathe a Sigh of Relief: They took a gamble that not just one but three children would grow up to be competent, attractive film leads and now that all three of them are near adult age, they can relax that they scored three out of three. Only Watson seems to be giving filmmakers trouble, and it's not because of her performances; it seems to be because they don't seem to be able to decide if they should make her less nerdy and more sexy or vice versa. Thankfully, nerdy seems to be winning. Who Steals the Movie: Well, besides Alan Rickman, who threatens to walk off with every one of these films, Staunton is a great evil Hogwarts dictator this time around. Any adult who doesn't see parallels between her reign and the current American Presidential administration just isn't paying close enough attention. Maybe I Missed Something: But why doesn't Harry have a scar this time? They even mention his scar once in the film, but when they do, all it does is draw attention to the fact that it's either not there or nearly invisible.
EXTRA SCENES Was this his/her enemy in part 1? it just looks similar except this character is a girl?
For all the women he shouldve kissed, he kissed asian girl? HAhaha He got good taste on Asian girls. Its a good thing for my part because I also is an Asian. :)
Isnt he suppose to play as chubby guy? just like the other movies or part 1 of harry potter? Thats good, everyone works out before going in the movie.
Movie: Transformers My Rating: 11.5/10 Critics Rating: 9/10 Type: Action
TRANSFORMERS FACTSRemember the mid-'80s cartoon show about two dueling groups of robots — the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons — with the power to transform into cars, jets, helicopters, motorcycles and such? Well, they're coming to the big screen in this live-action adaptation. REVIEWS
Who's in It: Shia LaBeouf, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Anderson, Megan Fox, Rachael Taylor, John Turturro, Jon Voight The Basics: If, like the hosts of the Today show ( I just watched them interview a sort of sheepish, worn-out Duhamel), you don't know that the Autobots are the good robots and the Decepticons are the bad ones, then you are old. I mean, I'm old, too, of course, but for some reason I watched the '80s cartoon version of this show a lot while I was in college. Anyway, they fight — these giant robots. They fight a lot. And it's AWESOME. You will leave smiling like you were seven years old and just managed to throw your toys off a very high place, watching them smash into pieces on the ground. What's the Deal? Michael "The Touch" Bay, bless his narratively deranged soul, somehow knew that he would be forgiven for tampering somewhat with the "mythology" if he simply made sure that things were constantly exploding and that robots never stopped fighting. So that's what happens. In fact — and this isn't a spoiler — the last 30 to 40 minutes of this long, loud movie (it's almost two and half hours) is all special effects and action. Just battles and blowing stuff up. Headache-prone parents, take note. Why They Fight: They want this power cube. It's not that important to know really. They were pretty much just born to fight. And that senselessness is also kind of brilliant, because the film is based on a line of Gen Y 1980s toys that had no agenda but to transform and battle. Storylines followed later. And in keeping with that '80s feeling, it's very Reagan-y — gung-ho about stuff like war and the military. It would be annoying if it were even remotely about real life. But it ain't. Nerds, Rejoice — Well, At Least Rejoice Over This One Thing: They got the original voice of Optimus Prime, Peter Cullen, to come back and do it again. And I just learned that he's also the voice of Eeyore, which is kind of funny. What About the Humans? What about them? Their job is to react to stuff that's not really there, which I'm sure is hard for an actor. But whatever. More robots fighting!
EXTRA SCENES
WOW HOT!
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| AAHH BUSY SO BUSY!!I am so busy here at florida, I know some of my friends are in chicago and moved away. *sigh* thats all I can think of all the time. I wish to go back in time in childhood so no pressure in life, I guess you have to deal that everyday till you die. No matter, how much you try in life, there is always a possible chance getting up. Is xanga really dead? I mean, I havent update my site, it is not because I lost interest but just because I havent had a chance to update it. How many users are still using this? I just wonder. Last May 26 was my friend's graduation party and I wasnt there. :( I had plan to go to chicago and attend his graduation party but so busy here, I had to cancel it. Sorry dru about that, I will make up the day of your wedding. I hope I dont have the same excuse. Alot things going on in my life, I just dont know where to start and how to explains it. First of all is the outage, its like 2 1/2 months so busy. I like it because it pays good money and good news, I still have the job if your busy working. Its better to have a job busy than staying home doing nothing and not getting paid. If I will retire then maybe I will do that or win the lottery <--- only way to be rich. Although I dont need those money, I just wanted to pay all my bills. Life is stuff, I dont think I am having fun but it is my responsibility. Soooooonnnnn, my big day will come. I have to plan it well. I hope nothing will happen and problem is financial. :( See the pictures below for entertainment.
You Can Have a Better Memory in Just 2 WeeksDr. Gary Small is the director of the UCLA Center on Aging and author of The Longevity Bible. And he says making simple lifestyle changes can improve your short-term memory in as little as 2 weeks! So here are Dr. Small’s tips for boosting your brain power. - Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and nuts. All of those foods are loaded with antioxidants which protect your brain cells, and keep your memory sharp.
- Walk for at least 10 minutes a day. Exercise improves blood circulation, which helps speed nutrients and oxygen to your brain.
- Relax. When you’re feeling stressed, you produce the hormone cortisol, which can shrink your brain’s memory centers. So practice relaxation techniques – like mediation or deep breathing. That lowers your heart rate and reduces the amount of cortisol in your body.
So if you want to boost your memory, eat fruit, vegetables, and nuts, walk for at least 10 minutes a day, and do something to relax when you’re stressed. And here’s a quick memory trick from Dr. Small. Let’s say you want to remember to buy bread, baking powder, and vacuum cleaner bags at the grocery store. He says you should imagine a mental snapshot of these 3 items, and then link the snapshots together in your mind. So, if you wanted to link together bread, baking powder, and vacuum cleaner bags, you could imagine a baker vacuuming bread crumbs off the floor. If you’d like to go further, check out The Longevity Bible by Dr. Gary Small. Movie Of The Week...Movie: Knocked Up My Rating: 8.7/10 Critics Rating: 9/10 Type: Love story
KNOCKED UP FACTSAllison Scott (Katharine Heigl) is on the fast track for a promising career as an entertainment journalist. Her big plans get a little messed up, though, after a one-night stand with a total slacker (Seth Rogen) gets her pregnant. Although she has the determination to be a successful working single mom, Allison tries to involve her baby's daddy in her life, but he may turn out to be a little too immature to handle fatherhood. REVIEWSWho's In It: Seth Rogen, Katherine Heigl, Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, Jason Segel The Basics: Doofus party guy impregnates out-of-his-league career gal, and then it's time for everybody to grow up and find out what they really want. But the seen-it-before, coming-of-age plot is just the cone the ice cream sits on. It's the funniest, smartest, goofiest, dirtiest, coolest (and longest — over two hours, in fact) comedy so far this year. What's the Deal? I once heard another film critic bash writer/director Judd Apatow's 40 Year-Old Virgin as an example of the juvenile obsessions of "Generation X," and I suppose that same old grump will bash this one, too, because it's dirty and irreverent. But there's a difference between a movie being the product of a juvenile culture and one that comments on that culture. This is both those things, just like Virgin. It's intentionally and intelligently crude. I know I'm making it sound way less fun than it is because it's a blast and never lets up being gut-bustingly funny, but I feel the need to defend its very well-rounded brain, too, because there's an older audience out there that's going to want to ignore it without giving it the chance it deserves. OK, Fancy-Pants People, How's This? It's like an Eric Rohmer film full of really talkative (make that really, really talkative), really interesting people who all seem like characters you want to follow. And then it doesn't disappoint you by not following them. You get it all, from everyone, even the supporting players. Instead of being about this-happened-and-then-this-happened, you walk out talking about all the great things the characters said to each other. It's the kind of movie you go back to twice because you want to hear them say it again. See Also. No, Seriously, See Also: It's highly likely that you've still never checked out the TV show Freaks and Geeks. It's got almost all the same people in it, created by the same folks, and it was one of the best TV shows of the past decade. Naturally, it got canceled. All 18 episodes, all incredibly funny, out on DVD. If you don't go watch it, then you're a loser. Unintended Consequences of Watching This: The Ryan Seacrest cameo made me stop thinking he was a stone-cold bore for a few minutes. I may have to completely re-draft my opinion of him. EXTRA SCENE
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| What I have been doing lately?Im not even sure if someone read this stuff. Anyways, I will put something here. Last month, my brother and friends visited me here at florida. They wanted to know what is florida looks like. They drove almost a day going to florida, it takes two days kung mageestay kau sa hotel. Pero sila, long driving at straight shot. They took turns driving to florida. I know this also because I had some experience going to florida by driving and trust me its very look driving as you think. But it is fun to drive with some because you got someone to talk to most of the driving. Unlike me, I was by myself driving and I have no one to talk to, thats why I was so bored when and sleepy. I mostly listen to the radio or keep my mind busy so you wont bored driving. Last time I remembered, it took me 23 hours driving from chicago to florida. My brother and his friends took them almost the same hours. I think because my brother didnt book the plane early thats why they are so stuck in driving. It was crazy because it is more expensive driving than flying. Anyways, after they arrive, I welcome them and cook "Tinola" for them. They like my cooking with rice!! yummm... Friday morning: that morning, they went to Jensen Beach, it was close by, it was about 10 mins away from my place. It was a nice beach to stay. I live here 2 years now and I didnt enjoy much of the beach and I think it is because I hate swimming. I just like to hang around the beach and enjoy the weather. With the wind blowing your face and sunny, hmmmm thats called life. I sometimes visit the beach when I get the chance after work. Back to my story, so they went to the beach and spent most of the hours there. They like it ! Too bad I we didnt had a chance going for snorkling. It is really fun snorkling, I remembered when I was in hundred island, Philippines, I enjoyed pretty much there. Soon, I will go back to PI and go snorkling again, when the plan works well, it will happen in march 2008. Last time I remembered, at Ayala, I visted the biggest mall I ever seen. I was like "WOW naman!!" grabe eto pare. It was the biggest mall than here in US. How can they afford such a thing? Baka utang yan!! ahhaha. Especially sa Asia Mall, kanino project yun? Baka utang rin yun, hahaha. Though Philippines are so low with money and yet they still afford to build such a big mall. Where did they get the money? The US, dont want to afford such a big mall because it is useless. Not so much people go to the mall here. Most people go to the mall, buy what they need and go home but Philippines wise, people there hang around, window shopping, eat, magpa- aircon sila, then hang out there for kil some time. I think Mall is the boring place to hang around. If you ask me. Next Subject, If anyone seen this news about Ana Nicole Smith, she died last February 8 with a child of 6 months. Then two guys, I guess they were Ana nicoles boyfriends. So they are fighting who is the father of that child. If anyone doesnt know who is Ana Nicole is, she is the previous PlayBoy Magazine Super Star which married a rich old man, then died. Now, Ana Nicole is rich. But then again, she died. So to make the long story short, the two guys is fighting for the money because of the baby. But I guess this guy won, Blirkhead? I think that is the right one. Damn, all that for the money? Im sure one of the guy is not after the money but the baby girl Danielynn. My feeling today is happy yet something is bothering me. I dont know why, I think someone is trying to trick on me for the past week or more. Then that makes my feeling crappy if I think about it. Hopefully it is going well in the future. I like the way it is right now, not like last time. It was a disaster. Hopefully this year and next year will be good because I am happy about it. But I will be observant about it, you never know it might not come true or my plan will be disaster. Well see. Yun lang masasabi ko ngayon. WOW dami naman ito. Sa next time naman. Paalam.

Are You A Workaholic?In Japan, it’s called “karoshi.” It means “death by overwork” – and it’s responsible for 1000 deaths per year for workers under age 60, due to heart attacks and stroke. In the Netherlands, it’s produced “leisure illness” – affecting 3% of the population. Workers get physically sick on weekends and vacations when they try to relax. And here in the U.S. it’s all too common, but still considered a “respectable addiction”. What am I talking about? WORKAHOLISM. And according to Web MD - it’s dangerous. Dr. Bryan Robinson is the author of Chained to the Desk. And he says workaholism isn’t the same as working hard or putting in long hours. It’s an addiction – an obsessive compulsive disorder. He says “hard workers” usually have some balance in their lives. They sit at their desks and think about skiing. But a workaholic is on the ski slopes thinking about work. Their obsession with their job affects everything – relationships, hobbies, their health, their family. They have children but miss little league games. They neglect doctor’s appointments because they don’t want to leave the office. And when they do go on vacation, they’re mentally on the job. And like with any other “‘aholism” – workaholics don’t fully understand how their addiction affects themselves and others. They usually realize their problem only when something catastrophic happens to them – their health fails or their marriage falls apart. So how do people become workaholics, how many different types are there - and what can be done about it? Just ask any Type-A personality who’s suffered a heart attack and lived to tell about it. Dr. Bryan Robinson is the author of Chained to the Desk. And he says the seeds of workaholism are often planted early. Many workaholics are the children of alcoholics or some other dysfunctional family, and work addiction is their attempt to control a situation that’s not controllable. Or they have perfectionist parents who always expected unreasonable success from their kids. They grow up thinking nothing is ever good enough, so they try to be the best at everything to earn their parents’ approval. Robinson says there are 4 basic workaholic styles: - The BULIMIC workaholic feels the job must be done perfectly or not at all. They have trouble getting started and often work to the point of exhaustion - with sloppy results.
- The RELENTLESS workaholic is an adrenaline junkie who takes on more that they can handle. They often work too fast or are too busy for careful, thorough results.
- The ATTENTION-DEFICIT workaholic often starts with a fury but fails to finish projects because they lose interest and move on to something else.
- And the SAVORING workaholic is slow, methodical and overly fussy. They have trouble letting go of projects and don’t work well with others. But they often miss deadlines because things aren’t “perfect”.
So what can a workaholic – and the people who love them – do? Counseling is often recommended, and support groups like Workaholics Anonymous help. But according to Dr. Robinson, it comes down to recognizing the need for balance in your life. Working hard is great – but you must turn it off and savor your friends, family, hobbies and fun. Now In Theaters...Movie: Invisible My Rating: 7/10 Critics Rating: 6.5/10 Type: Mystery
THE INVISIBLE FACTSNick Powell (Justin Chatwin) is just your average, ordinary teenager, until one night when he's brutally attacked by a mysterious assailant and left for dead. With his soul caught between the afterlife and the living world, an invisible Nick must solve the mystery of what happened to him before he becomes fully deceased. MY REVIEWS
Who's in It: Justin Chatwin, Margarita Levieva, Marcia Gay Harden, Chris Marquette The Basics: A teen poet with a picture of Charles Bukowski on his bedroom wall — sure thing, E.E. Cummings — gets beaten to a poetic pulp and left for dead in the sewer by a gang of thugs led by a female teen model who wears a ski cap 24/7 to cover up the fact that she's pretty enough to be homecoming queen. But wait, just like in that Reese Witherspoon movie where she flits around making cute comments to Mark Ruffalo until he falls in love with what he believes to be her corpse, this kid's only sort of dead and spends the whole movie hovering between this life and the next, trying to detective his way back to life for himself and redemption for ski-cap girl. What's the Deal? I hate it when a movie won't let someone just die. Bridge to Terabithia did. Ghost did, too. Patrick Swayze stayed dead-dead-dead, and no one seemed to mind. This one, though it's very much like Ghost but without the courage of its storyline, has to pretend something bad is happening. But — without spoiling the dumb ending — by midpoint you're under no illusions that the teen poet turned detective is on the right track toward getting his life back. He is, after all, invisible and can gather pretty much all the evidence he needs to make it right. You'd think after watching all three Final Destination movies, it'd be pretty clear to everyone that you can't cheat death. But you can with the right people behind the camera. Where You've Seen Chatwin Before: Fittingly enough, he was Tom Cruise's son in War of the Worlds, another movie with a cool premise and no guts to deliver on the promise of death to a single main character. Further Evidence That Oscars Don't Mean a Thing: Academy Award winner Harden collects a paycheck here as the one-note, domineering/overprotective/cold-as-ice mom in the rich-lady house. And I bet this was the best script she'd been offered lately, too. They always say that kind of thing in the interviews as the writer notes them picking at their salad: "You should have seen the other scripts I'd been reading!" | | |
| A guy thing:This how the guys perspective view looks like. Some of them may not be true and some are. This is my made up, this is what I think how guys react. I know this because im one of them. 1.) During a date with a girl (of course), a guy should not fart. 2.) During a date, never bring flowers, for some reason, girls or women freak out bringing them flowers. It may seem it is sweet to bring them flower, well not in the first date you wont. 3.) During a date, never kiss a girl while watching the movie. Mostly likely your going to get slap on the face. 4.) If you want to last your relationship longer, make them guessing who you are. Pssttt... dont tell them anything about you, so they will keep guessing who you are because they are very observant. If you tell them about you and theyll know about you. Once theyll know for who you are, then your boring person and theyll leave you. 5.) First impression is best thing in a first date but I think not. Being yourself is enough for them. Dont act someone like brad pit, or someone else you like because its not you. Remember your not funny in first date. 6.) Always smile when you see your partner. When she ask "why are you smiling all the time, para kang sira (you smile like crazy)" then answer, "I smile all the time because I am happy to see you." 7.) When walking alone with her and only with her, go hold her hands even though she didnt ask you to. If she react when holding her hands, let go her hand and say " sorry I slipped (pasensya na nadulas ako)". You will notice if she didnt like because if she didnt like you, she will bring her friend (magdadala sya nang kaibigan) 8.) I dont know if you notice around you. The world is changing, there are more women or girls in the world than guys or boys. I also notice that guys like to cheat girls. Did you know, most women today are single with kids. Yah, go figure. 9.) Also, did you also notice that women today are smarter than guys? Women will go with a guy with money and not a guy with love. You will be suprise thats true, come on dont deny it. 10) Finally, there is a time when your partner (your girlfriend, wife or whatever) says to you "Dont touch me", dont believe them. Touch her anyway 3 times, youll be suprise they will think of you how annoying you are and she will about to slap you. Make her think like that but deep inside, you really care and showing how much you love her. | | |
| DepressionI am sadly to say that Bears lost the game last night. What a big disappointing team and especially with lots of fumbles. Hahahah... Grossman should be taken out of the team. He fumbled the most and had some bad throw. I thought in the first quarter was good. I would thought they would win since they had the first lead but then again when it rain hard...they became weak. They feel like superman. They are strong for the moment then they got weaken of kryptonite. Bears weakness is rain. Hahahha...I wonder if it snowed in miami (it never snowed) I would think bears would win the game since they are immune to coldness. Hahahaha.... Good thing I didnt bet, imagine if I did and have this confidence ( I did before the game started) then I would probably loose lots of money by now. Phew.... I think Grossman threw the game. I know its raining and its hard to hold the ball if its wet but I wonder why Grossman throw the ball, they always catch it but when they run the ball and it sliped to their hands... "DONT LOOSE YOUR LUGGAGE". Time to move on and maybe next year. Maybe the coach will realize that needs more offensive and new quarter back. Whats New About meI didnt had a chance to go to xanga as much because Ive been playing games online to make me busy. Also, taking taekwondo still whenever I can. I loose or gain pounds, kinda on and off. I am now 154 lbs. I got the feeling, I might gain more next month. What can I say, the food are delicious. Ive been cooking with different style, of course filipino food. Example, I know how to cook, adobo, kare kare, tinola manok, paretada, sotanghon, pansit, leche plan, Emputido manok, pinakbet, sinigang manok o baka. Marami pa akong gusto kong matuto. Whats My New GameIve been playing this game IL-2, similar to the game of Battlefield 1942 but this one is a full time dogfighting. Its the plane in WWII like bf109, spitfire, corsair, SBD, Zero, Yak and etc... I will make a video out of it. This will be fun game. I cant get enough of 1942 games. Some people quit the game then come back. Ive been laying back and not to think about the problem. I have a lot of problem...I feel like the problems found me instead of finding it. I hate whent that happens. What Else Is NewMy Friend Dave is getting marry this coming May. So Congrats to him. I am so proud of him. I known him for half of my life and same goes the rest of my friends... Yah you know who you are. Dont pretend "ohh... i dont know him". I feel so jealous. Its hard to think that everyone is growing up and having a new family, then kids and then old age. Did you have a moment that you wanted to go back to a kid again? Cause I do. Being a kid is fun and no problems. I sometimes drift away and think about those days. *sigh*. I feel sorry about Dave because I know its marriage this coming May and no one is throwing him a Bachelor Party. I know he is at texas now and no one is visiting him. As being a friend, I will visit him and throw a bachelor party. I hope my other friends comes alone too. Yeah, im talking to you........you cheap ass Motha....tae mo.... Lets move on shall we? Now, Anyone heard about this news from last 2 -3 weeks ago that a baby was burried inside a big luggage? It was mummyfied some sort like that. They believe it happen long time ago 1930 and they just found out now. It was terrible thing to do. It was in New jersey. I think the mother is crazy. American IdolI love this show. I like the audition in the beginning where they audition the people who cant see. Most people believe they can sing but ended up embarassing themselves. I mean if you know you cant sing, then dont try to sing infront of the television. I mean.... its embarassing infront of the nationwide watching you. Hahaha I roll and laugh at them. I enjoyed watching it. I know I cant sing but I am not stupid enough to go to American Idol and try out. I rather sing in the shower than someone is watching me. eeeeekkkkk!! There is an old man trying out the American Idol but the story was. He had like over 200 signatures from other people that wanted him to join American Idol. I think....if your like 40 and over, you cant participate. So this guy got in and found out the story. The only he wanted to get in to American Idol is to sing infront of the TV dedicated to his dead wife. His wife past away 2 days ago. I think the wife wanted him to sing for her. He promise to get to the American Idol just to sing for her. It was really a good song too and he is a good singer. Paula cried that day... yep it was a moment but at the end, everyone hug him. Awwww... Worst Movie Is Now In Theaters...Movie: Epic Movie My Rating: 2/10 Critics Rating: 2.5/10 Type: Comedy
EPIC MOVIE FACTSIn the grand tradition of Scary Movie and Date Movie comes this spoof of mega-blockbusters. Four orphans visit a chocolate factory and are transported to the wonderful land of Gnarnia where they battle pirates, wizards and the dastardly White Bitch.
MY REVIEWWho's in It: Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, Jennifer Coolidge, Jayma Mays, Crispin Glover, Darrell Hammond, Carmen Electra, Fred Willard, David Carradine The Basics: Limp-along parody of the following movies: Nacho Libre, Snakes on a Plane, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Chronicles of Narnia, X-Men: The Last Stand, Talladega Nights, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Da Vinci Code, all the Harry Potter movies and the Lord of the Rings trilogy, too. They also throw in references to Borat, Lazy Sunday, Flava Flav, Geico insurance commercials, Cribs and a lot more stuff I probably missed when I got up to go to the bathroom. Twice. I spent a long time going to the bathroom each time, too, so I could shave off minutes of having to soil my field of vision with this piece of crap. And anyone who knows how public men's rooms smell understands the sacrifice involved in that. Like, I washed my hands and dried them thoroughly before leaving each time, hoping to miss as much as possible. What's the Deal? There was an episode of South Park once where they explained how the show Family Guy worked. Cartman discovers that a team of manatees selects color-coded balls and puts them in a big mixer. Each ball is one lame, overdone, poorly thought out pop-culture reference. Then they string the balls together to make a script. It seemed a plausible explanation for that TV show's existence. And I think they used the same manatees for this movie. There aren't really words adequate to describe the misery of watching it be as brain-meltingly unfunny as it is. It has to be the manatees. Cashing Checks: Coolidge, Willard, Carradine, Penn, Glover. OK, everyone, really, but struggling actors need work of any sort, no matter how barfy the project. It's when someone kind of famous is involved that it seems that much more mercenary. How Many Times I Laughed: Once. When the guy who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite made out with a beaver puppet. EXTRA SCENE
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This chatter box is edited by Krisjon
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